@TotallyAllen: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, "Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."
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@Chelsea_Elle: I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now.
@shawnspree: My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. "THIS is my wife.." *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can
@CrackYouWhip: Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope.
@cbdoubleu: [Gets arrested] Officer: You get one phone call... *hangs up a few minutes later. Can you turn the radio up? I requested a song.