@Thee1_4U: How to win an argument with a woman:
1. Too late, you're already wrong.
@IcyAndSpicy: Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life.
I need sex to help my sex life, not food.
@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.
@Mom_Overboard: Me: Dare me to find out how many Reese's peanut butter cups can fit in my mouth?!
Date: What's happening right n-
Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying
@lisaxy424: *notices one of my own hairs on my dog*
WELL IT SEEMS THE TABLES HAVE TURNED