@1Happytwit: HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me.
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@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"
@just1fool: I'm not gullible but she said I was the best she's ever had and then to wait by the phone for instructions on how to get my wallet back.