@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
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@zachreinert03: I think the term copycat serial killer is a bullshit term. They can't kill the same people as the other guy
@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac
@EndhooS: [Watching boxing] Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!
@Heldinchains: You gotta wet it first, doesn't work dry. The wetter the better. -whistling you perverts