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@MarfSalvador: [Watching the sunset over Paris] BF: My darling *goes down on one knee* GF: OH MY GOD!! BF: THIS is how I proposed to my last girlfriend
@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.
@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.