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@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.
@BGH70: The company CEO gives a few words of personal appreciation each year at the holiday party. I got, "Oh, you're still here?"
@david8hughes: [turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here