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@Khanoisseur: Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn
@briangaar: Whenever people are like "We need to restore traditional values to this country" I assume they mean slavery and burning witches at the stake
@BruceForce: My gangsta career was brought to an abrupt and tragic end when my homies caught me sipping on a frappucino doing my taxes
@SomthinBoutSara: I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights.