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@Thee1_4U: I only drink to forget that my 4 year old daughter has an iPad Touch and I have to ask for her help when it's my turn to play on it.
@Marlebean: Friend zone?! I've been sister zoned! And if one more dude pats me on the head, I'm telling mom!!
@mjohnny3: On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
@awordforaword: *men apologize for their weakness* *women apologize for their strength* *aliens probe neither*