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@DangOlWill: *Bad guy in pokemon voice* i want to end all life *after losing a fight* well fair's fair here's twenty dollars
@CopBroughtPizza: [car dealership] "it's just like walking, except now you have to move your mass AND this 2,000lb vehicle." fred flintstone: i'll take it!
@BlindChow: [mailman delivering package to hospital] DOCTOR: ah, just what the doctor ordered MAILMAN: please stop saying that