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@petemandik: [touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.
@bigmacher: Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.
@weinerdog4life: Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.