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@10InchesPlus: I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I've missed 3 mortgage payments.
@WheelTod: I hate it when you turn up to a Klan rally and some other guy is wearing the same dress.
@goldengateblond: Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream.
@Token_Geezer: Fun Prank: Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They’ll think they have a poltergeist and move