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@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
@EmmaUtters: Someone knocked at my door asking if I would like to donate to the children's home so I just chucked him a few kids
@jaslakhmna: The new Exorcist movie plot: Family hires the devil to get a priest out of her son!
@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.