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@ShaneKnowsStuff: People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I'm stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
@tastefactory: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real
@bea_ker: "Did you guys see me get so mad I flipped a table?" Yes Tony, we saw it. You're 46. You have to stop taking your skateboard to restaurants.