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@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'embarrassing' "Oh I don't mind, you can say it" No, it's really 'embarrassing' "Ok, I promise not to laugh"
@NotThatKevin: I said my wife's name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet's empty...
@CornOnTheGoblin: you're suing Gatorade because you mixed red and yellow and it didn't taste like orange? me: not even a little bit your honor
@Not_DeeAnn: First thing heard on the news: "You're gonna be wet by this time tomorrow morning". Kinda looking forward to Tuesday now