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@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.
@Robert_Beau: Mom asked me if I would pick up some things for her at the 'Dime Store', great, now I've got to go all the way to the 70s.
@GuyThe_Guy: "Is there a Mr. Fields?" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine.
@furbyburglar: I never scrape my back window so when I back out of parking spots I let Jesus decide if I'm gonna kill anyone