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@ElKnuckelhombre: My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said "HELP ME!". It was not.
@panmidwest: MOM: turn the volume down on your headphones or you'll go deaf! ME: that is sound advice
@vexroid: This restaurant should really be giving me a discount for ordering carryout and not bringing my kids inside.
@carlyken: [The Twitter Breakdown of 2015] Angry mobs storm the streets, forcing clever wordplay down the throats of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders