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@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
@lazerdoov: 1. Take pictures of every cat in your neighborhood 2. Make missing cat posters with the pictures 3. Get all the cats
@Playing_Dad: Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble
@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.