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@brownbear952: Try and tell me about your cleanse and I will whip out my pocket bacon and eat it right in front of you.
@KenJennings: Guy at the park who just put out his cigar and started doing tai chi is my new fitness guru.
@ONHERPERlOD: Why are middle school girls skipping the awkward stage & going straight to pretty? No no, you get braces &wear blue eyeshadow. Do your time.
@shegotagronk: I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.