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@lamefactory: 911, what's your emergency? What do you mean you've been stabbed? People can't do that, that's illegal.
@DaddyJew: [lunch break] Gf: I have 30min Me: you thinking what im thinking? Gf: oh yea *starts undressing Me: *googles closest laser tag location
@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.