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@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
@ElleOhHell: "We're a completely paperless office." Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks.
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@DearAnyone: I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle.