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@KKAlThani: "How do we hide Superman's identity?" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled "With glasses!" & everyone started clapping for him.
@Tmoney68: Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight.
@mdob11: I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
@MommaUnfiltered: Dear Snapchat, I don't care what I look like as a strawberry, just give me a filter that makes me look like I showered.