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@LoveNLunchmeat: 80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction.
@SteveSackington: I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.
@themorris23: If Jesus came back today, hipsters would be like "whatever Jesus, the book was better."
@onion_an: Dentist switches lamp on: "Now open wide" Moth dental assistant: *repeatedly flies into bulb* Dentist: "This has to stop Denise"