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@RandomAntics: I'm a vegetarian for the health reasons. Now pass the cheese fries.
@Ideal_Victoria: If I’m suddenly acting really nice to you, chances are it’s only because I want what you’re eating.
@ProudFFAalumni: I came, I saw, the neighbors complained.
@hazelmotes1: Me: when I grow up I'm going to be an astronaut.
5 year old daughter: you're already grown up. You'll be dead soon.
@LoveNLunchmeat: If you tweet about orthopedic shoes enough, you don't even need to write "No DMs" in your bio.