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@DadInUtah: Wife: We're supposed to get 8-10 inches tonight. Me: That's what she said. Wife: Can't you do any better than that? Me: That's what she said
@jennfer46: A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes..
@BookisherBunny: When life hands you a komodo dragon suddenly the times you got lemons seem pretty cool.