@CakeThrottle: Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.

@RobDenBleyker: Kids: Always remember to brush your drugs and don't do teeth.

@UncleDuke1969: HAPPY EARTH DAY! Suck it, Neptune.

@AJslackie: I did it again, I put way too much hairspray on my back hair, now I can't sleep.

@Hobo_Splendido: The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat.