@bourgeoisalien: Human history is so awful, I think I'm just gonna teach my son the timeline of Star Trek off of Wikipedia and call it a day.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: no one still wants to fight me after I gently remove my earrings and swallow them
@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@UnFitz: Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say "iron whilst damp." I still have no idea when to iron that thing.
@Gupton68: 10: "What are we doing today? Me: "We're gonna make tacos." 10: "Then what are we going to do?" Me: "...I'll be eating tacos."