@ruinedpicnic: Humans pretend to be smart but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we're suddenly gonna have x-ray vision
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@iwearaonesie: watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college
@CourtneyBale: [courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail
@GBRougecity: In the bathroom stall and written on the bottom of the door, " Beware of Limbo Dancers" I wanted to star it and re-stall it one door over.
@behindyourback: 11:30pm is the time each night when I ask myself the ancient question of the universe: what if I just ate everything