@bopinklady: Husband is leaning dangerously out of window whilst he cleans it. Only thing stopping me from shoving him out is that he cleans the windows
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: What did you like most about your last job? ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.
@Dutch_50: I'll bet even homeless people look at funeral homes and think, "Nope. I'd rather stay out here."
@Sassafrantz: Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.