@ramblinma: Husband [through locked door]: "I know you're up, I saw your instagram post."
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@JayMindX: "Calzone" is just an Italian word to make you feel better about eating a Hot Pocket in public.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Husband: "You should try going to bed earlier." Me: "You should take the 3yo to work with you." Him: "I'd get nothing done." Me: "EXACTLY."
@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking