@GrowlyGrego: Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?
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@jonnysun: MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea
@jonnysun: ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT
@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.