@KentWGraham: I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.
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@OctopusCavemann: My 4 year old asked me if tears were made of pee and when I told him “no” he asked why they taste like pee. I have so many questions.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight.
@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.