@SteveSuckington: I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band.
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@Marlebean: Today, a man looked me right in the face & said "You're not hot!" Actually it was a cop &he said "Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."
@DainWins: Life hack: McDonald's will deliver if you tell them that you are holding Ronald hostage for a ransom of [your desired food order]
@Keys_ToMe: I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, "um, these aren't mine."