@SteveSuckington: I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band.
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@mellimelle: Each year I get invited to go on vacation with the same group of annoying people but I can't say no because they're my husband & children.
@Reverend_Scott: Earth: "You're causing tidal waves!" Moon: "So?" Earth: "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation!" Moon: "Very funny."