@sexypitabread: I accidentally said "pastryarchy" instead of "patriarchy" and now I have a vision for a better world
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@_CherriAnn_: I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. Fun game
@Pro_Jones_: (NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.
@XplodingUnicorn: Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro.
@KalvinMacleod: BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*