@WilliamRodgers: I "accidentally" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident
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@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".
@JediGigi: Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Ryan Gosling? Him: Me? No, but thank- Me: Ok just making sure.
@moooooog35: The sun isn't even up yet but this seems like a good time to start yelling at the top of my lungs trying to find a girlfriend. - birds