@AZHORSEMOM77: I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout was crying
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@tastefactory: When I was going into surgery my dad said "Good luck w/ your surgery" and I said "you too" so now my dad has to get surgery too, he's pissed
@michaelianblack: The only thing that would prevent my wife from going to Pilates class would be if they invented a more expensive form of exercise.
@CornOnTheGoblin: she loves me [takes bite of hotdog] she loves me not [takes another bite of hotdog]
@_Enanem_: I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.