@SaraMansford: I added broccoli to my kid's Mac n Cheese and now he's sitting in a spinny chair, petting a hairless cat and plotting his revenge.
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@ddsmidt: X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...
@SmartassChef: If drinking too much alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking too much Fanta make you fantastic?
@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.