@FlyJ_: I almost crashed into the semi in front of me while I was looking at a hot construction worker. That would've been an embarrassing obituary.
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@SirEviscerate: ME: *catches the bouquet* Yes! I'm next, losers! Haha! SOME RELATIVE: This is a strange funeral reception.
@clindsaysway: Meant to say, "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." What came out: "I'm available anytime"
@Rachelnoise: After three beers in a bikini I quit holding in my stomach and just think of baby names to tell people.