@Sir_Strange: I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it.
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@GrrrRach: If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
@iGreenMonk: 1)Print out a "WANTED" poster with your face on it. 2)Dress as a cop. 3)Go around asking people if they've seen this person.
@StellaRtwot: We wouldn't really have any national debt in this country if strippers would just pay their damn income taxes.
@BarryVonAwesome: The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore