@Sir_Strange: I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it.
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@fro_vo: *Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on
@bggas400: She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish.
@DurtMcHurtt: [Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit.