@FannyB1tch: I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
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@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!
@LoveNLunchmeat: Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her.
@brennadine: Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet.
@cray_at_home_ma: There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.