@FannyB1tch: I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
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@mc_funbags: People keep telling me I behave like a man so I'm currently working up the courage to tell my husband he's gay.
@internetluke: [cops showing wife my body] "Why is he 50m from where he got shot?" "Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history"
@DanMentos: "I just tried to make reservations at the library" You don't need a res- "Couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"
@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.