@genehunter1: I always blurt out, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal.
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@lazerdoov: I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep.
@Super_Cynthia: I KEPT MY CAPS LOCK ON WHEN I SEARCHED RECIPES FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND NOW GORDON RAMSEY IS IN MY KITCHEN
@Travon: The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing "Stay With Me" into a megaphone.
@Shock_Monster: Canadians like to brag about getting all four seasons: Winter Almost Winter After Winter Not Winter