@genehunter1: I always blurt out, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal.
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@duplicitron: Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.
@trevso_electric: "Never Have I Ever" is a party game and fun way to find out who shouldn't be donating blood.
@stephenjmolloy: Dude: You got a light? Me: Sure. *hand him a flashlight* Dude: I mean for my cigarette. Me: Yeah, he can use it.
@Junkyardigan: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. *drops mic* *deletes account*