@genehunter1: I always blurt out, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal.
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@UncleDuke1969: "Make him press 1 again." "Good." "Now, 3 minutes of silence." "He still there?" "Give him 18 minutes of pan flute." - Call Center Training
@liv_thatsme: HOW TO RUIN A GRADUATION DINNER: Hi, I'm your server. "Our son got a degree!" Wow! I have a Master's. Wanna start w/ some chips & salsa?
@MariyaAlexander: Cops have a new radar that lets them see through walls into our homes but imagine if this technology fell into the wrong hands! Oh wait...