@liv_thatsme: I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now.
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@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?
@HousewifeOfHell: The Good News: My doctor says I'm healthy as a horse. The Bad News: She used another large farm animal to describe my weight.
@Storminika: It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be.
@lwhit_the_boss: My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos