@TommyKarate: I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding.
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@carlawh: When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.
@BPMbadassmama: I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces.
@rolldiggity: Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries.