@5hael: I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
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@sofarrsogud: ME: This is false advertising. I've been here an hour and nobody has even touched me. So lonely. COP: Again, not what a holding cell is for
@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.
@SerenityRising: "If you can't handle me at my diddliest, you don't deserve me at my doodliest." -Ned Flanders