@joeljeffrey: I always carry a piece of paper with me, just in case someone tries to attack me with a rock.
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@minealone6: Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes in the bathroom.
@RickAaron: I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice.
@AndyAsAdjective: I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why "mustache" & "headache" don't rhyme.