@ItsNateDavis: Heard a 28yr old describe herself as old. Need help disposing of a body.

@I_am_Lukem: Get your hero name by doing something brave and seeing what the newspapers call you. I'm Local Man.

@YeahDrewisOn: Her: I can't believe you slept with her! Me: WE WERE ON A BREAK! Her: I just went to the store to buy bread! Me: Longest six minutes ever

@TommyKarate: I have a big butt and I can not lie.

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Now that HBO has a partnership with Sesame Street we'll finally learn how to spell the names of all the Game of Thrones characters.