@LoveNLunchmeat: I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight.
@thenoahkinsey: I almost accused a 10 yr old of stealing my dance moves but it turns out he just really had to go to the bathroom & didn't know where it was
@WritePlay: When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him.
That's more my speed.
@FunnyTunes: If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can't attract the desired boy.
Then that means the boy has iron deficiency.
@matt___nelson: [Hot Wheels cars zooming through entire house] "I SWEAR TO GOD KAREN IF YOU DISCONNECT ANY PART OF THIS TRACK I'M DIVORCING YOU"
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