@caseytduncan: I always eat duck with a few slices of cheap bread, because I know they would've enjoyed it.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Surprise parties for Lindsey Lohan probably have that "Intervention-y" feeling at first.
@jackiembouvier: Friend: Don't you recycle? Me: I do what I can. F: What about the seals? M: Am I responsible for their recycling, too?!
@withanewname: Friend: Bro, those were sick fireworks! Sorry about your eye, but I think the ER may be busy. Me: No worries, my wife made reservations.