@Bmittone: I always feel bad for seedless watermelon because what if they wanted to have babies.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Try2StopME: Hey, girl at the gym that keeps moving to the opposite corner every time I get on the machine next to you, yes, I feel the chemistry too.
@Up2Long: Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying "I'm stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
@My_Ego_Altered: I'm eating a bottle of glitter so when I get drunk and throw up tonight people will think I'm a unicorn in human form.
@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"