@rad_milk: i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead
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@Tmoney68: Just saw a bird walking down the side of the road & yelled out my window, "YOU CAN FLY, YOU STUPID BIRD," because I am a mature adult.
@mayamanion: Ok parents who have really clean houses, do you have outdoor pets and outdoor kids? How does this work?
@10InchesPlus: "Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
@mcclure111: America: School 6-18 should be free. More than free! MANDATORY "Hey can you cover school 19-22 also?" No that's socialism "19-20?" SOCIALISM