@ItsAndyRyan: I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver.
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@IGotsSmarts: If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one
@QwertyJones3: Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???
@GingerHotDish: Them: So why did you guys get divorced? Did he cheat? Me: We went to Costco on a Saturday.