@chrissyteigen: I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dutch_50: My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!
@Fred_Delicious: Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says "sorry we don't serve your type in here"