@Thedudish: I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them.
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@outsmartedmommy: The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest.
@abbycohenwl: Gramma: When I was your age, a candy bar was a nickel Me: That sounds really hard to swallow
@ElKnuckelhombre: Damn, i got hit with the "we need to talk" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention.