@iGreenMonk: I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!
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@Cheeseboy22: The greatest joy you can feel as a parent is when you get the call that they've canceled your kid's Saturday sporting event.
@maughammom: The very first thing my 3yo daughter said to me this morning was "I know how to start a fire!" so nothing you guys say today can scare me.
@envydatropic: I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit
@Home_Halfway: BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired