@iGreenMonk: I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!
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@McGrumpenstein: FBI Agent: You're accused of attempting to hijack a Mentos truck & drive it into a Diet Coke bottling plant Me: ... FBI: ...I kind of want to see that Me: I KNOW, RIGHT?!
@JonnyStallone: Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.