@Baz_3000: I always read my wife's Horoscope to see what kind of day I'M going to have.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too
@JD_KC: The goldfish just gave me the "just flush me" look. No way pal. If I have to stay so do you.
@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
@IamEnidColeslaw: ALL THE JADED LADIES all the jaded ladies ALL THE JADED LADIES all the jaded ladies