@theshantilly: I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, "Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before." or "You have a dope overbite."
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@Quadricycle: [At restaurant] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! But I'm on a diet so... [To waiter] Do you have diet horse?
@yassinovic89: Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.