@Sean_Burgundy_: I always try to hold in my sneezes so I don't give someone a reason to talk to me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Breadery: My daughter got a sticker from her teacher that said 'resilient tortoise.' I've sent her in with one to give in return, 'patronizing hippo.'
@Abusitron: Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*
@primawesome: Coworker who supports Trump: Big weekend plans? Me: Huge. My weekend plans are so big you won't believe it. No one has bigger weekend plans.