@OFalafel: I always watch Goldeneye before cooking a microwave meal...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LousyBastard: Had sex with my nephew's English teacher. Texted her the next day "Last nite was grate. Your so awsome!" so I don't have to see her again.
@lecalabara: Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal? He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal? Why won't you just text him?
@ElgatoEsmio: [holding an acorn] “do you still love me?” Wife yells outside- "that’s not even the same squirrel as yesterday!” "Shaddup you!"