@Shot_Of_Cabo: I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something.

@TweetPotato314: I swear to god if my memory was any worse I could *bonk* WHO THREW THAT BOOMERANG?

@thatdutchperson: I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that'll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.

@Zombieionism: Cannibals are so full of themselves and other people

@topaz_kell: [taking a picture] Me: "Make love to the camera!" Grandma: "Don't make this weird, dear."